Grief: Tips on how to deal with death and loss

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Haley Helfer -- Grief can be overwhelming, but that does not mean its unmanagable.

If life seems to no longer matter and the importance of the things that you once loved completely diminishes, you might be experiencing some an emotion that comes with grief from the death of a loved one.

Death is a very sensitive topic that people try to avoid because along with it comes grief and sorrow. Even though it is something that no one likes to experience, it is a part of life and learning how to cope in a healthy way can be very helpful.

In times of agony, it is best to surround yourself with friends and family so that you can reminisce about the wonderful moments spent with the person that has passed.

Tell jokes and remember the happy times you spent with the person that is no longer there with you physically, but that will always be there in spirit.

Do not try to forget the person, but rather remember them clearly and focus on the things you once learned from them.

Whether the person may have been young or of an older age, there are many things you can take back from them. For example, the lessons once learned from their experiences and the love they expressed for others.

In these times it becomes very easy to question God about His decisions and for this reason Helpguide.org suggests that “If you’re questioning your faith in the wake of the loss, talk to a clergy member or others in your religious community.”

People who have a relationship with God can help your experience be more pleasant as they can help you build that connectedness that is necessary to understand God’s decisions and the plan He has for everyone.

While it may seem that everything is unfair and you may question why this happened to you, take into consideration that everyone goes through this experience at some point in their lives and that as time passes by things will feel much better.

“There is so much more to life than living in cushioned pillow where nothing can ever be uncomfortable. But God has not called us to be comfy, if anything we should always remind ourselves that this life is not permanent but only temporary,” Abigail Zavala, junior, said.

Along with their friendship, everyone in your religious community can offer the support you really need through “Spiritual activities that are meaningful to you – such as praying, meditating or going to church,” as stated in Helpguide.org.

Not everyone grieves in the same way and while some people try to be strong and not show any emotions through crying, it is important to consider their feelings and remember that they may be suffering just as much as someone who has broken down completely. However, crying can help you feel relieved.

“Cry, cry and cry all you want because there is nothing wrong with crying and longing for your loved one,” Zavala said. “Then forgive yourself and ask God for forgiveness for any wrong that you might have done to that person. Or forgive them for any wrong they might have done to you. The best thing to do is to rely on God for strength.”

Going through the grieving process also requires that you take care of your health and make sure to eat even when your brain may tend to think that you are not hungry. Since it is focusing too much on the pain that comes with losing someone, it can be normal to feel no hunger but your body needs nourishment to be able to deal with all of this stress.

According to Helpguide.org, “If someone you care about has suffered a loss, you can help them heal by asking about their feelings, spending time just being with them and listening when they want to talk.”

Through the help of loved ones and the ongoing support from those around you, going through the death of a loved one can potentially become easier. Grief is a painful process but everything heals with time.

“So let us love the people around us and let us tell them all that they mean to us. Let’s do that today, because honestly tomorrow may be too late,” Zavala said.

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