Imagine you ask him a question but he tells you he does not want to be disturbed. The look he gives you is one you know far too well. Within a few moments both of you are screaming and he begins to cut you down with words, bringing up all the reasons you are worthless and why you deserve what you are getting. You begin to wonder if you do deserve it, but suppress it quickly as the fight continues. He picks up the television remote and throws it at you. As you throw your hands up, he stalks over to you and begins to shake you and shove you. Maybe you should have just left him alone, you think to yourself. After all, you asked the question starting it all.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, every day, three women in the United States will die from domestic violence. Every 90 seconds, there are at least six women who are assaulted by their partner. One in three women have experienced abuse in their lifetime. This means someone you know has lived through a situation similar or worse to this one.
As someone who grew up in a home with domestic violence, I do not believe churches and Christians deal with these situations effectively. Sadly, they are often dealt with quietly and quickly. I have heard more times than I ever wished that domestic violence is not grounds for divorce and all it takes is a change of heart for the aggressor, usually coming from people who have no experience with the conditions.
The problem with offering marriage counseling or accountability for the abusive relationship is there is a deeper root behind the assaults than just having bad coping mechanisms or anger issues. It is a complete disregard for the other person’s body and soul. I do not think you can fix this in someone who believes another person is an object to be abused.
The law states police are required to make a mandatory arrest if they have a probable cause to believe there was domestic abuse in the last four hours. While this may be the law, I can tell you this is not the case every time and they often wait until the abused asks for the abuser to be taken away.
We need enforcement to create serious consequences for those who abuse others and remove the abused from the situation. Often the abused believe they are to blame for their abuse or they believe they cannot survive without their abuser.
The safety of the person abused and children, if they are involved, should be first priority. If we do not set our foot down and make it known it will not be tolerated, perhaps we can lessen the idea it is OK for another person to take out their aggression on another person. With serious consequences and no leniency, I believe we can eliminate the number of domestic violence occurrences for good.
Domestic Violence Awareness month is important because it brings to light what many people forget happens to so many. Over the past few years, celebrities, such as Keira Knightley, and commercials in the Superbowl
have brought attention to the problem and are helping to fight against this wrong doing of so many women by saying, “Enough is enough.”