Friendships are not monogamous

Having friends who make you feel loved and treasured is one of the most incredible feelings ever. Knowing your friends willingly want to be a part of your life despite your flaws is beautiful. Feeling protective over these friends is natural, but not necessarily a good thing.

When I say protective, I do not mean protecting your best friend from a guy who may break her heart. I mean feeling like a friend can only be your friend and absolutely no one else’s because he or she  was your friend first.

A common misconception is if a person was your friend first, naturally they can only be half of a friend to a different person.

Claiming ownership of a person is rather odd, actually. Demanding someone to solely choose you over anyone else is a quality of marriage. Friendships are not monogamous and friendships are certainly not marriages.

My friendship with someone else is not dependent on someone else’s bond with that person. Developing a friendship with a friend of a friend is a new relationship that can grow in any way, regardless of the middleman.

It becomes incredibly obvious when the jealousy sets in and everyone wants to explode because of the overbearing awkwardness in the room. Friends are afraid of hanging out because someone will get his or her feelings hurt and it all just becomes way too high school. We are all adults here and should know better than that.

Now don’t get me wrong, we all want to have our own life and do our own thing. It is OK to want separate groups of friends, but if by chance two separate friends develop a bond, you have no right to stop that friendship from growing.

Do not feel that just because these friends have hit it off, you are no longer a priority. You must be secure in your relationships. If a friendship is meant to last forever, you will remain friends regardless, but if it deteriorates because of a situation such as this, it wasn’t even worth it.

I am guilty of feeling this way with different groups of friends, but I need to continually remind myself that these are feelings of insecurity and the love from a friend is not dependent on his or her love for another.

In fact, when friends hit it off, you should feel flattered that you would pick such likable friends. Don’t prevent your friends from developing friendships that may help them grow in areas you aren’t able to assist in. Don’t worry, you are helping them grow in incredible ways also.

About Darlene Mercado

Opinion Editor

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