“I need closure” and “I want to end on good terms,” says (almost) everyone after a relationship ends.
Here’s a foreign thought: You don’t need it. You don’t need to have all of your questions answered and you don’t need to have a “final conversation” or that final “goodbye.” Sometimes, bridges have to burn and sometimes, ending on good terms is bad.
It is possible to move on with your life and be happy without a cinematic sendoff. Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, the way the relationship ended and the way that person treated you throughout the relationship says enough because actions will always speak louder than words.
If they acted in anger, let them live with that. If they said things you think they may not have meant, it is not your job to give them a chance to explain themselves or justify their
If months have passed and you both haven’t talked and it seems you both are fine, leave it be. There is no reason to knock someone off of the solid ground on which he or she is standing.
As cliche as this sounds, time heals all. There is no forced conversation that can accomplish what time does on its own. A scheduled conversation meant to give closure and allow for good terms will inevitably be filled with sweet sayings and reminiscing.
I will be the first person to encourage someone to keep on keeping on if a relationship means that much but I will also be the first to say you are not required to try anymore once you’re out of the relationship. If you did everything you could have done, if you said everything you could have possibly said, then what more is there for you to do? Absolutely nothing.
You will meet people in your life who aren’t meant to be in it forever and that’s OK. Let it go and let yourself and the other person continue on; it’s the only way to ensure the both of you will end up where you’re supposed to be if you don’t hold each other back with the “what could have been” conversations.