June 5, 2023
Illustration by Aaron Frank Torres -- It has become a tradtion at California Baptist University for couples to get engaged before graduation.
Illustration by Aaron Frank Torres — It has become a tradtion at California Baptist University for couples to get engaged before graduation.

California Baptist University that a plethora of students got engaged over Christmas break. As happy for these people as we are, it is a little disheartening for some when senior year hits and the women become obsessed with getting that “Ring by Spring.”

But I just want to say it is OK to be single. If you do not have a fiancé or even a boyfriend, it is OK.

It is not unheard of to graduate with your bachelor’s degree and not be engaged or married. Some women are more focused on their careers, others just do not want to get married and there are also those who just have not met the right man yet. And, some who are waiting to even meet a man.

But where does the longing for love and desire to be married come from?

All the Barbie dolls and kitchen playsets that allowed us to play house, instilled a brainwashing mechanism within us as children and as time went on allowed those desires to grow stronger — right?

Wrong. What is interesting is we often forget the original love story: The love our creator has for us.

1 John 4:19 (NIV) says, “We love because he first loved us.”

God loved us, and as a result we love. He loved us so much he sent his son to die on a cross and rise three days later to cover all our sins. The immense love he has for us allows us to love one another and form relationships through it.

This verse is often found paired with stories about the concept of being single. But it is a big deal. I did not understand the extent of this verse, but now I do.

Love is not just an “action,” it is a gift God has given us. His enormous sacrifice impacts everyone. And the love that we show others, in all types of relationships, is evidence that we are bringing glory to him.

As all the single women might secretly covet that their female peers are now betrothed, some cannot help but dream about the day they find that their “Mr. Right” has come.

Now I am not hating on all those ladies who “got a ring on it.” I am so happy you have found the man with whom you have chosen to spend the rest of your life. However, I do not feel that the ringing of wedding bells has to be the focus of every woman. There is no need to fight for love because of the one who first loved us.

God has perfect timing. And this is a struggle that all women go through — waiting on his timing. Waiting can strengthen and prepare the heart, but it can also break it if trust and faith in the Lord are not present.

Women tend to make lists of the qualities they look for in their “perfect man.” But we should not have a list. We can plan all we want but ultimately God is in control.

Although our plans may not always go according to the way we map them out, they are going according to God’s plan.

A woman’s focus should be her love story with Christ, not obsessing over getting married. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who loves the Lord and seeks out ways to bring glory to his name through all she does.

Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Women should be striving to become this woman. They should be more concerned with glorifying God through their actions and words, not trying to get approval of the world’s current culture that exaggerates relationships and love and gives false expectations.

Although everyone seems to be getting married, there is no reason to feel bad about not having a ring by spring. Some women will get married and start new chapters of their lives, but single women should not think of this current season of “singledom” as a waste.

In the meantime, during a single season, we are called to love others. So love your parents, love your family, love your friends and enemies. And most importantly, love your God.

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