Show concern without discernment
“I just want what’s best for you .” This phrase is one most of us have heard and said at least once in our lives. I know I have spoken them and had them spoken to me. While most of the time these words have been said in genuine love and care from those around me, it has become apparent to me that more often than not, these words are said with a tone and attitude of judgment rather than genuine concern.
The line between judgment and concern is finer than most of us might realize. It is easy to become convinced that our way of going about life is the “right” way and this can lead us to approach those around us with an attitude of superiority and that attitude is the
complete opposite of loving.
We need to stop forcing our opinions on our friends and family even if we do not agree with a certain aspect of their lives. We need to stop with phrases such as “well if you ask me,” and “In my opinion,” because the chances are, if you have to use one of those sentences, no one actually asked you for your opinion in the first place.
There is a way to be concerned for your friends and still love them. If there is a serious issue that needs to be addressed in a loved one’s life, do so with a spirit of humbleness, not arrogance. You are not perfect, you do not have all of the answers, you have also made mistakes and sometimes people need to make their own mistakes to learn themselves.
The best lessons are the ones we learn ourselves and through our own experiences. Being “protective” over someone will not help them. The reality of life is that we all need a few mistakes under our belts.
We are all going through different phases of our lives. We are all going to lead different lives and different does not mean wrong. Stop judging and start loving; that is really the only way to get through to people anyway.